When a child is born in a family, the family becomes complete, but not yet perfect. Very many women after the birth of one child begin to think about the second. And when the husband is not against the second child, the family becomes close to the ideal - mother + dad + daughter + son (the sexual variations of children can be different).But often the birth of a second child provokes a protest from her husband. He is quite satisfied with life with one child. Why one more? What should the wife do in this case? How to solve this problem? What situations to direct, and what arguments to "pro", that the husband understood and desired as much as she is the second baby in the family. The decision to have a second child should be mutual, because the kid should be willing and expecting to live a happy and successful life, is not it? In this situation it is worth listening to the leading psychologists of the world. They have in stock several proven methods and explanations for such confrontations of men. Specialists in the field of family psychology have thoroughly and thoroughly studied and studied this problem. As a result, the following conclusions were born, which you can now become a winner in this situation.
Fear of material difficultiesWhen a man is the head of the family, at the thought of giving birth to another child, it is quite natural that he has a fear or doubt that he will be able to adequately provide a second child. After all, the birth of a new baby always involves a lot of expenses and demands.
What to do in this case? Of course, it will be hard for those wives whose husband completely controls family finances. But, if a part of the finances is at the disposal of a woman, and there is someone to help (parents, godparents, etc.), then you can quite safely defend your position and desire to have a second child. In addition, in this situation, you also need to boldly give examples of other families whose financial situation is much worse than yours, and they dared to give birth to a third child, and they do not regret it at all.
Housing problemOf course, the problem of housing is serious. But, on the other hand, this problem is eternal. Of course, when mom, dad and child huddle in a one-room apartment, live with elderly parents, then the prospect of a second child is unlikely to please a man. After all, the imagination immediately draws him pictures, where the three of us will have to sleep with the baby, because there is simply nowhere to put another baby crib in the room, and so on. This issue should be discussed at the family council. Discuss with the husband the prospects for new housing. For example, take a mortgage, or change the parents' apartment with a surcharge for two, and so on. In addition, the current law on the parent capital, allows you to expand housing conditions, and to refuse this is not worth it.
Age of the manOften the question of age becomes an obstacle for men to become his father twice. And this issue is of a bilateral nature. For example, when a man is not yet thirty, he has a selfish idea to live for himself and not burden himself with a second concern for a new baby. One of the men wants to first make a career, accumulate a large capital, and so on. Men after thirty years begin to feel themselves too grown up. But if a husband is close to forty, then he generally begins to consider himself an old man in order to become a father again.
How to convince her husband that they need a second child? First of all, the wife should argue that the older she becomes, the higher the level of risk of development of all complications during pregnancy and childbirth. But while they are young, they are not yet thirty years old, the second birth will be virtually painless and easy, and complications should not be feared.In addition, the smaller the difference between children, the better on all sides:
- First, children will play better together, their interests will coincide, since they will belong to another generation.
- Secondly, if the difference between children is not great, all the skills for caring for the older child are still fresh in memory, which means there will be no difficulties with the second.
- And thirdly, two children in the old age of parents - this is a more reliable support, rather than one child. And here is the third argument is in this situation the most significant and effective.
Unreasonable unwillingness of the second childWhen the husband refuses the second child, not arguing for his refusal, the wife should "dig" in his past, and find these reasons. Even if you have no financial or housing problems in your family, these problems lie in the psychology of your husband's family. Or in his personal psychology. Arguments here need to be selected with special care. For example, if a spouse has brothers or sisters, you can easily put him in a dead end question: why should our child grow alone? Tell examples from other large families when older children have a positive impact on the younger ones, and vice versa, how good it is if your first child starts to understand the responsibility of caring for other, younger members of his family. If it's not finances or housing that prevents your husband from saying "yes" to the second child, he most likely simply fears a new responsibility. And your task is to convince him that all the difficulties you have already gone through with the first child, and then everything will go on the rolled track. Perhaps this is the reason that is most difficult to overcome for the birth of a second child in the family, but every wife has a chance to win if she is wise and understanding to solve this issue. Do not miss the moments and situations to remind your husband of your natural desire. Do not "lower your hands," do everything possible, and your family will necessarily be supplemented by another member. How many people in the world, so many opinions, so many situations that can convince a man. Some women resort to ordinary blackmail, threatening to divorce and find themselves another man who wants to have many children. There are those who just put a man before the fact - I'm pregnant with the second. And the man has nothing else to do other than to take out his hands and take the second baby into the family. And some women just pray in their secret room to God for the birth of their second child, and they are also successful.
So there are many options, and they are all individual in some sense, but they are applicable in many other cases. Just try to penetrate as deeply as possible into the psychology of your husband, understand it, and the way out of the situation will find itself.It happens that the second child to her husband is prevented from deciding his own health. In this case, the wife should take care of him as much as possible. Become a reliable support for your husband, the so-called reliable rear, let him see in you that woman who will follow him to the end of the world, into the fire and into the water. When such a relationship is established in the family, rest assured, no man will dare to refuse to his wife in wanting to have a second baby. When a husband feels care about himself in everything, support in everything from a woman, he simply will not be able to deny her such a blessed and innocent desire.
The conclusion from the above is the following: the main thing is always to understand the psychology of a man, to know his inner world and to sympathize with his excuses and words. When a woman shows him that she is ready for everything, even to give up her desire to have two children, the man will necessarily give in, surrender and agree to become the second time the father.