Psychology and Relationships
What changes in pregnancy?
I am pregnant, the delivery is approaching. What to do when you feel that "real" life seems to go away?
Kirill Gorelov Psychotherapist, Design Bureau # 84 of the Federal Medical and Biological Agency of Russia
That is, I, of course, are alive and well, but I seemed to be thrown out onto an uninhabited island. Friends and friends continue to solve violently professional issues, they no longer "hurt" me, and they do not have time to discuss with me the size of the purchased baby crib. But I need communication ...
Separation from your former surroundings must be compensated by the active formation of a new circle of acquaintances - among themselves. For example, waiting for a doctor in a women's consultation, on all sorts of training courses for childbirth. Get acquainted and say your current questions today with pregnant and already giving birth to women who have a foamy personal experience and will gladly share it with you.
When you go on maternity leave, build your day so that it does not remain unfilled by business or leisure time. Read the literature for pregnant women or art, which previously did not have enough time. Take advantage of every free moment - and there will be no time for sadness!
Olga and I live together for about three years. After the birth of his son (he is now a month old), Olya stopped loving my mother in kindness. Mom is amazing the woman, the kindest person, has always supported us morally, gave us sensible, correct advice.
Olga just does not let her go to her son, she does not like it when her mother comes to help us around the house. Said. That it is better to let the housekeeper help. What happens to the wife? Surprisingly, especially since before that they got along with each other. Or it seemed to me?
It is possible that not only Olga, but also you and your mother are responsible for the problematic relationships in your family. From your story you can see how much in life means for you mom. It's good. Although in this situation it is necessary to learn to "separate" yourself - the husband of a young wife from himself - the child, the son of his mother. His family, "his nest" - from the family where you once were a child.
Perhaps your mother is too straightforward and insistent in her advice, in offering help. You need to gently tell her about it.
The maternal instinct of the birth of a woman dictates that Olga defend her "nest" from the encroachment of another woman, "rival", with whom her mother-in-law is identified. The same instinct makes her jealous of her beloved to his mother. Therefore, it would be good to remind your wife more often that the child should not only have a mother and father, but also a grandmother and grandfather.
I want to help my newly-born daughter to take care of an infant, to live with a young couple of months, because they have a large apartment, all fit. And Lena does not want to. She says that she does so well that her husband "does not understand" that she will not be able to relax, as she said, "walk naked" in the morning. How shoud I understand this?
Try to offer Lena his help in another form. For example, in prearranged episodic arrivals in the first half of the day. The more correct are the older children in their advice and suggestions, the better for a young family. If the nature of your help and advice is advisory (as opposed to imperative), it is more likely that the young will accept them.
I'm waiting for a child, I'm worried, and Ilya, my husband, will never offer to talk about our future baby and how my pregnancy is going on. To me, though occasionally, support is needed, is it not clear?
You yourself must begin to discuss the issues that concern you. You are subject to a common misconception that if a husband loves you, he must guess everything himself. Even without words, understand everything. I think Ilya will readily switch to your experiences. Just need to tell him about it.