The tale and the past of tutty larsen

She equally feels naturally in television and radio air, easily combines several works at once, she has two names. But the main thing is that she has two children! Tatiana Romanenko, better known as Tutta Larsen, came to visit "SR" with her children Martha and Luke.

HAPPY PARENTS Can I say that the book by Jan-Olaf Eckholm "Tutta Karlsson First and Only, Ludwig the Fourteenth and Others" is your family's desk book?

TUTTA LARSEN Of course, we really love this book. Like Scandinavian fairy tales in general. Yes, like any fairy tale! Luka we have already read "Tutta", he liked it, Marfa grows up - we will also read.

S.R. Tutta Karlsson is a little chicken, a chicken, and her friend is the fox Ludwig Larsen. They can not be friends by definition, but they are friends. And why does your Tutta have the surname of a fox?

T.L. Well, in my opinion, everything is obvious. All has come true! They did not accidentally become friends. I married them!

S.R. That is Tutta Larsen - such a symbol of a dream come true?

T.L. Well, if you really develop the concept, then yes ... In fact, when I came up with this pseudonym, the name of the heroine - Karlsson - could not be left, because she was invariably associated with Carlson, "who lives on the roof." Larsen came up on all counts.

S.R. And why do you need a pseudonym?

T.L. I started working on a music channel, and my colleagues in the West had beautiful foreign names. And I'm just Tanya Romanenko. This was not at all in tune with my current idea of ​​coolness. Over time, the pseudonym became my defense, the boundary between me and my character. He became my profession: I work as Tutta Larsen. And yet ... I think that he expressed my reluctance to grow up. However, for me and now is very important, this is my inner child. I try to be friends with him and somehow walk him out periodically, let him go free.

S.R. And what is the degree of freedom of children in your family? What are the main principles of education?

T.L. To be able to listen. And be attentive. Because in our family (and in my family) have always been very respected for children, although they were brought up quite strictly. We did not exist in chaos, we had clear ideas about freedom and responsibility, as its back side. But while it does not work very well with Luke, because responsibility does not exist for him as an integral part of life. While he has this feature is not formed. But we bring it up. Recently there was a case when the pope with him and Martha went for a walk at the cottage and Luka ran after a friend to a neighboring house. My friend was busy doing something, the son undressed and went to play with him, completely forgetting those who were waiting for him on the street. He did it on purpose, he is so arranged, he has in his head until it does not hold. And with this, too, have to put up. You can argue as much as you like and offend him and punish him, but - not at all. He has such constitutional features. For example, Luke is not able to sit on a chair for more than three minutes. He needs to move all the time, with arms and legs, jerk, fall off this chair, run around the piano. Here we wrote with him on the autumn vacation at the dacha three dictations. Have written one, put on a jacket and run five circles around the house. Then we jump on one leg, on two, and then he asks for another run. After this, there is hope that we will write two more dictations.

Council from the star When one of my children starts to be capricious and enters into a rage so that no words and admonitions work, I try not to delve into the clarification of the relationship, and as quickly as possible I switch the child's attention to something more interesting. And you can also "include" humor and something to laugh. We are so often obtained.

S.R. A good idea for the parents of such restless runners. Did you come up with themselves?

T.L. With bustle - themselves. And we also go to an osteopathic doctor (osteopathy is a system of alternative medicine, which considers the disruption of structural and anatomical relations between various organs and parts of the body as the primary cause of the disease), which also advises Luka to move as much as possible. This is the physiological norm of the son. And it's good that there are doctors who understand this. In general, in modern medicine, I am confused by the fact that most often it is not a person, but some of its separate organs or a separate infection that is considered in it, not conforming to the huge number of other conditions in which it exists. But in addition to the disease, he also has a constitution, a psychotype, character, conditions in which he lives. Even the color of hair is important! Here at the Center for Natural Development and Health of the Child, where we go with Luka, we are not treating individual health problems, but helping the child as a whole, implementing a global approach.

S.R. Parents often complain that today the children are not the same as before: more capricious, stubborn, etc. And what do you think?

T.L. What do you mean? On the contrary! Now such amazing children! Such clever! Rarely adequate, they know how to declare their needs, defend their personal space, their "I". That's the problem that some parents simply do not feel, do not hear and do not want to hear their children. It's easier for them either to keep the child in fear or not to pay attention to him at all. And absolutely amazing children are born, they are very interesting to deal with. I have this motto: "If you have problems with your child - this is your problem." You can not make contact with your child, which means that you are blind, deaf and lazy. And contact requires very serious effort. And I, too, of course, not holy, I can stamp my foot, yell, deprive cartoons. But in any case I try to remember that the child is not my property, not my bag: I want to - put it in the closet, I want it - I threw it to the floor. This is a gift given to me by God, to which I must help grow and unfold.

S.R. Do your children look like you?

T.L. Luke is very like. Just so much that it is not easy. When you look in this mirror. I here read from the wonderful psychologist Eda Le Shan (she has a book "When your child drives you crazy") the thesis that we are most infuriated in children by what we ourselves were seen in childhood. And the fact that Luka boy, also leaves its imprint. He is tougher, he fiercely defends his opinion. He already, you can say, a teenage spirit, although Luka is only eight years old, a bit early. But with him terribly interesting. And the downside of his stubbornness is that he is already a peasant. A friend of mine, a psychologist, said: how amazing it is that some boys have an innate attitude towards a woman: "a woman is a fool." But this is in the good sense of the word, in the sense of indulgence towards a woman and her weaknesses, in the sense of magnanimity of a stronger one. Surprisingly, Luke is still a child, but he already understands that mom is a woman and she has her own characteristics, she needs a special approach. Sometimes, when I scold him (and sometimes, by God, I do not have enough strength!), Then I root myself. I say to him: "Well, forgive me, I lost my temper, raised my voice and behaved, maybe overly emotional. But you brought me to this! "And the son answers me:" Yes, I have long forgiven you. Relax, Mom! "

S.R. And what is their relationship with Martha? Is there jealousy?

T.L. Of course I have. This is mainly true of Luke, although Marfa has already learned. They divide parents, grandmothers, territory, toys. In this case, the same penalty for both is very helpful. And this in an amazing way unites them, they immediately begin to play together. Luke at home can not let Martha go to her room, can take her toys from her, demand the attention of her parents, but on the street or in some unfamiliar company he is a mountain for a sister. Recently there was an amusing incident at the birthday party, where mostly girls and the youngest, Marfunya gathered. Luke went into their room and said: "So, this is my sister Martha. If someone offends her, she will deal with me. " He turned around and left. The girls stayed in a stupor.

S.R. They were not afraid then to approach the sister of such a formidable brother?

T.L. Well no. Martha is such a sun with us! Martha in general is a separate story. We gave birth to her at home. That is not at home, but under the program "Soft childbirth" in the maternity hospital № 15.

S.R. What kind of program is this?

T.L. It's when you give birth as it is conceived by nature. You give birth when it's time, you do not stimulate anything, do not anesthetize anything. You are in a room, in the twilight, in silence. With you, if you want, husband, you give birth as much as you need, and in the position that you prefer. After giving birth, the baby is immediately put to the chest, and the umbilical cord is cut only after she pulses, because this is very important.

S.R. Luka gave birth differently?

T.L. Also without anesthesia, but in a generic block. There was a lot of light, a lot of people, and at some point I stopped understanding what was going on. It seemed to me that there were good births, because he was born himself, on time. But that was before I gave birth to Martha.

Then I realized that pregnancy is something for which a woman, in fact, was created by God, and this is the most natural condition for her. A birth should be a logical apotheosis of pregnancy. To give birth is as natural as breathing, but we completely forgot about it. And when you go back to how our grandmothers did it, I'll tell you honestly, it's amazing. Probably, this is the most amazing experience in my life, and I feel sorry for my friends, who say that childbirth is the worst thing that happened to them in life and they do not want this to happen again. The birth of Martha was childbirth-cooperation. We worked with her together, as a couple. Painfully? Yes! Difficult? Yes! But it is not important. These feelings fade into the background as compared to the feeling of cosmic union with their child and with all the women of the whole world in its history, with this field of eternal and absolute femininity. At this moment, you feel almost a creator, almost God.

S.R. Due to what was this result achieved? The right preparation? The atmosphere in the family? The presence of her husband?

T.L. Everything in the aggregate played a role. And the fact that the children were born in great love. And the fact that we are Orthodox Christians and want everything to be right, as it should be in our faith. And the fact that I was fortunate enough to meet with the system of traditional obstetrics, which, thanks to our Moscow medical authorities, became accessible and legal.

S.R. Your husband himself wanted to attend the birth?

T.L. He said: "I want to give birth to you!" "Then we'll go to the courses," I answered, "they'll tell you everything, they'll show you. And if after all this you turn on the rear speed, I will not be offended. " But in the end, my father was with us, my dad cut the umbilical cord, my father was the first to take his daughter in his arms.

S.R. Tell me, has Orthodoxy always been in your life or did you come to this at some point?

T.L. As one our friend the father says, "in our time people are saved only by sorrows". Of course, I came to the temple after a great misfortune. Probably, then for me it was the only way to survive. And if you come to God, then you can not go.

S.R. Is it easier to live with faith?

T.L. Without a doubt! I do not know how people live without it. Because it's so scary when there's nothing to hope for and no one can ask for help. And all the time I feel that I am protected, that everything is in God's will and that "ask, and it will be given to you." And many things in life become much clearer and easier. It's very simple really. In general, when you come to the temple, such amazing and beautiful things happen, such people meet! Here is our dad, our children, for example - such events! I believe all this is a direct consequence of this path.

S.R. Who and what do you want to see children in the future?

T.L. I do not care what kind of profession they choose. Of course, I want to see them as accomplished, realized people. Masters in any way. They will be better than us, much better. They have much more opportunities than we have and we to them, in my opinion, are much more careful. I mean "we" not only as parents, but as a society, as the society in which we exist today. Not all of Russia, but the circle in which our family exists. But this circle, fortunately, rather big. This is a circle of responsible people who, however, have retained their inner children and who are able to conduct a dialogue with their children real.