Holidays! Holidays! How do you want to spend them fun, interesting, so that the whole family had positive emotions. Will it work out? It depends not only on our desire. After all, on the eve of the New Year, Santa Claus and his parents will ask "And how did you behave?" And give a wonderful weekend ... only to good moms and dads. "Did you prepare for the holiday?"
How many read New Year's verses, made paper snowflakes, bought Christmas toys? How many gifts were prepared, wrote postcards? Santa Claus is a wizard attentive, pedantic, he has all the accounting and control. And for those who are engaged in the preparation process long, with the appropriate emotions, involving the children, it creates an unusually festive and magical mood. After all, the preparation process allows you to tune in for a holiday, anticipate pleasant events and pastime. This is important right now, when there are no marked differences between work and rest, weekdays and holidays. We organize our lives in such a way that everyday life becomes more interesting, saturated and bright - both in adults and children. It's good. But at the same time, the emotional significance of the holidays is also lost. As a result, the mood also becomes even, without positive outbursts. And as the good comes accustomed, it is subjective increasingly people evaluate their state of the word "so-so." This is not a mood disturbance, but a status in which it is increasingly difficult to enjoy life and find pleasant moments in it. "It's okay, but something's wrong, too common." Correct attitude to the holidays gives the ability to rejoice. And in children, it forms it. The list of specific cases, of course, no. The main thing is the mood, the creation of an atmosphere of joyful anticipation. And, of course, a bit more restraint in entertainment, shopping, while the process of preparation is in progress. The joy of gifts and festive events will be much greater. Already on these holidays.Dissatisfaction with the life of psychologists put on one of the first places on the importance in the list of problems of people in developed countries. It leads to depression, neurotic disorders, plays a significant role in the formation of the syndrome of chronic fatigue. "Did you learn to walk in a round dance?"
Father Frost knows better than others how difficult it is for parents to participate in a holiday with their children, so they often simply exclude such moments from the script. Parents come to come, but Dad video shoots, my mother in social network photo "matinee derisemya" spreads. "What dances? We brought you - go and have fun. " This trend exists not only for holidays. Parents gradually withdraw from the process of education, upbringing, the sphere of leisure. Home birthdays are now a rarity ("I do not want such hassle, and it's as fun as in the club, it still will not work"). So that parents themselves learn to write, read, draw, too, is not often ("there are specialists who know what to do"). As a result, adults become more observers for the processes of upbringing, growth, and not by active participants. The child under such conditions is anxious, and sometimes the real stress of responsibility. If parents do not show sincere interest in his affairs, then there is no sense of support or confidence. These children are more tired, they are anxious, suspicious. In addition to everything else, adults are also strict, then social fears develop from the kindergarten. It is important for the child to feel the biased and positive attitude of parents towards their own affairs. And this is possible only in one case - if Mom and Dad are involved in these cases too. Good mothers and dads know how to dance dances, draw from nature and on a free subject, play the scenes from the play by roles. They make it clear to the child that his activities are very important, and thus form a desire for creativity and activity. On holidays, they do not have to listen to whims and whining "What should I do?". Children who are engaged in many things become independent before others. They perfectly organize their time and find the ways of entertainment themselves.Holidays are a time that should bring us closer to the family. This is expected for adults and children. However, in reality, we often want to take a child, organize his time, and not do something with him.
"Have you ever forgotten about affectionate words and a fairy tale?"
Vita has been sick ever since she went to kindergarten. One week walks - two sick. Something cold, something sick, something else. She just does not like being in a group of children, she knows that mom is at home with her younger brother, so she subconsciously seeks to get sick and also be at home. Psychologists and parents are well aware of this phenomenon of "disease at will." But here Masha is ill just before the holidays. He misses all matinees, concerts, trips to relatives. "Wow, again the same thing. So many days off, but we stay at home for two weeks. It's strange - to be ill on holidays, "says Mom. Masha sighs, agrees, but in fact, this is exactly what she wants. To all sit at home, next to her, bezvylazno. Two weeks! The reasons for the propensity to disease are exactly the same as those of Vita, only the conditions are different. Masha's parents are busy people, and if Masha is ill during the usual days, they just call her a nanny. On holidays, parents are free, and Masha tries to get their attention to the maximum. So that for a year ahead is enough. Children "spoil" the holidays are not always the case. It happens just a very obsessive and capricious behavior ("hang on me, do not give away"). In very small children, the rhythm of sleep and wakefulness breaks down. Those who are already five to seven are inclined to bad behavior (they spoil things, behave aggressively), or they tell something negative about their surroundings in the garden, the school. The reason is one - children do not have enough affection and love, they are trying to get it now. A child can not know, understand, realize that he is loved, he must feel it. Through embraces, kisses, strokes, affectionate words, readiness to put to bed and read "till I fall asleep". Children who receive all this are calm, balanced, positive. They easily let their parents on their adult holidays, without suffering at all, finding employment. Those who do not have enough love for sensing are asked for in a variety of ways. The faster the adults find the connection between the child's behavior and his attitude towards him, the better. The sooner they will be included in the list of good parents and will enjoy on holidays the pleasure of communicating with a quiet, complaisant child and the whole family.Positive planning Share positive thoughts with the child, give him an optimistic attitude. "If you do not get to go on vacation - then we will celebrate outside the city. It will not work and this? We will stay at home and we will walk every day in the parks. " This kind of planning is not only an organizational moment - it promotes the upbringing in children of flexibility of thinking and creative approach to life. They grow more stress-resistant, easier to cope with troubles. And their parents, Santa Claus gives a very valuable gift - optimism and positive thinking of children on these holidays and for life. "Do you happen to quarrel about the tree?"
A huge number of people experience stress from such objectively pleasant things as weekends and holidays. Every time they think that expectations are not justified, real rest will not work, and relations with relatives will only worsen. In most cases, these people already experienced as a child mixed feelings for the holidays. Even then, for some reason, free time was for them more a source of tension than joy. For example, parents perceived the holidays as an opportunity to relax in the full sense of the word - that is, to take no effort at all. "We have a weekend, can you at least now not create any problems?" - they said to the children, instilling a feeling of confusion. Or, for example, when they found themselves in a situation of constant contact with relatives and relatives, they were more irritated than usual, they said: "Yes, when will this weekend be over?" Or half-jokingly stated: "We have had a good rest, but we are very tired." By the way, according to statistics, every couple quarrels at least once in the New Year holidays, and the total number of quarrels is several times greater than in any other two weeks of the year. The reasons - close and long communication, material costs, changes in the mode of life, worsen the general condition of the body. The reason is any small thing. And the children do not understand what and why, they do not get acquainted with the statistics, they just see how the parents spend the weekend, and start behaving in much the same way. Tense, irritable and at the same time sluggish and dissatisfied. Parents who are concerned about the mood of the family should first of all understand themselves. Why are these days so stressful, what prevents you from experiencing pleasure, which moments are the most problematic? And then to do positive planning - to think over what you would like to do these days so that, as they say, then it was not offensive. There should be several variants of cases - in case of unforeseen situations (bad weather, delay of flight, change of circle of communication). But all of them must necessarily be good.Those who know for sure that there is not enough attention to children, but still can not give it on weekdays, one tip: devote the first few days of the weekend to children completely, from morning till night. This will partly also be a return of your parental "debt" and will correct a little the situation. Loving curses: the art of family quarrel You are no longer small: 5 questions that the parents of a grown up child ask 5 steps for hair restoration after pregnancy and childbirth