What word do you often tell your child - "YES" or "NO"? Both are very important for upbringing and development: "yes" makes you feel the taste of freedom, feel the trust in life and belief in your own strength, "no" - sets boundaries.
Many of us learn to solve easier than to learn how to properly ban. One does not want to look like tyrants, others are against the pressure on children by parental authority, while others simply shift the "strict" part of education to a second parent. Some time ago, the so-called "Japanese approach" to the upbringing was in vogue, following which parents deliberately avoided banning the child anything up to 5 years. Most mothers and dads, whose children are now 13-15 years old, experimenting with various educational methods, have come to the conclusion that it is necessary to tell the child "no". There is no one ideal system of education for all, each family decides what to allow and what to forbid the child. For example, for some, letting a child go to bed in a bed is taboo, for others, a family bed, on the contrary, is part of the domestic way of life. To "bad words" in one family are very strict, in others - philosophically. However, certain guidelines exist.Children must know what to do and what can not be done, otherwise they will find it difficult to cope with the storm of their own impulses and desires. What to forbid, what to resolve - in each family they decide in their own way. But the landmarks still exist.
No, you can not BOTH OTHER. The two-year-olds are easily upset by playing alongside other children, and yet do not have enough vocabulary to express their emotions. Aggressive manifestations at this age are normal, but this does not mean that adults should not pay attention to them. Be sure to stop the child if he jostles, bites or starts a fight with other children. Do not allow your baby to beat or pinch you and other adults. Do not ignore the cruel treatment of a kitten or a dog. To teach a person to express feelings and emotions in a civilized way is a whole science. To begin with, just calmly and firmly stop the baby's handle, then, looking into his eyes, say: "You can not beat the others." Learn by yourself and teach the child to "let off steam," pummeling a pillow, scribbling on a sheet of paper or throwing pebbles into a pond. Repeat again and again: "People do not fight. They agree ". There is no sense in shaming or calling a child - this will not help him cope with instincts. It is important not to read lectures, but to explain, give examples from life, tell stories and do not forget to give the child to speak out! Children's aggression almost always means that the child needs more attention.
No, you can not shun the other things. In a broader sense, you can not dispose of things that do not belong to you: take away toys from another child, smear and tear at someone else's clothes, stuff foods that adults have not paid for in the store's mouth. Do not think that for the child is not available an understanding of the line between his and others. Calmly and kindly ask to return the thing to the owner! Offer to put yourself in the place of the child, whose favorite toy is spoiled. Explain that you can not assign someone else's house or car, no matter how you like them, because adults who take other people's things are in prison. It is important to talk about such serious things with the child face to face, in a relaxed atmosphere, and not to publicly publicize it in the sandbox.
No, you can not NOT be healthy. Explain to the kid that he does not respond to the words of greeting and farewell - roughly. Let the child as soon as possible get acquainted with the concepts of "polite person", "a sign of respect." Talk about complex things, even with a small child: perhaps you just think he does not understand you. The most effective method is a personal example, so do not forget to wish the kid a good morning, apologize if it's not fair, thank you for your help. Some children find it difficult to overcome shyness, while others prefer to stubbornly pretend that they do not notice anyone other than family members. One child is easier to learn social skills, the other is more difficult, but one must learn both!
NO, you can not go far from my mother. For the preschooler this is the main safety rule. Insist that the baby ask permission before going somewhere. For a walk, especially in a new place, determine where the child can go and where he should not go without you. Make sure that the kid understands you.
Yes, you can PLAY WITH DISHWASH. It's not about all the dishes that are in the house. Expensive porcelain and a collection of kitchen knives should be placed away from the floor. But plastic containers and trays, a whisk and a povareshka, wooden spatulas and pans with lids can become the most useful developing toys for the baby. At the sight of the little girl pulling a pile of pans out of the kitchen cupboard, most of us will want to shout: "Do not touch!" We ourselves too often heard this short phrase in childhood, so that it ceased to be automatically reproduced without any effort on our part. But it is difficult only in the beginning. Famous authorities in the field of child development strongly recommend to children: "Touch! As much as possible and more often tighten in your hands, knock, shift from hand to hand, pulling, dragging, tearing and mni. " The old newspapers will be as good as the dearest toy, and the basin for it is no less attractive than your phone.
Yes, you can sleep WITH THE LIGHT. You were proud of the fact that your child almost from his birth sleeps in his bed in total darkness, and suddenly at 4 years he began to ask not to turn off the light in his room for the night. Whims? Or does it regress? Neither one nor the other. At 4, the children begin to wake up in the middle of the night, because they see terrible dreams. At this age, the child is psychologically separated from his mother, and nightmares, in which fantasy and reality are interwoven in an unexpected form, is part of the payment for autonomy. If the night light shines in the room, upon awakening, the child will be able to see that the monster in the room has not scared him, calm down and fall asleep again. There is an opinion that sleeping with light is harmful, since in this case the natural phases of sleep are disturbed, which harms the work of the brain. Therefore, when deciding to leave the light in the nursery, tell yourself that this is a temporary concession, and take other measures to help the child sleep peacefully. An hour before sleep or so, turn off the TV. At any time of the day, try to protect him from "adult" TV programs and computer games. Avoid sad and scary fairy tales with a bad end. Put before a dream calm quiet music.
Yes, you can not get the soup. Grandmother, most likely, will be against it, and you will need the firmness to state once and for all that the "Society of Pure Cymbals" will do without your membership in it, especially since the sizes of portions and the number of dishes are debatable. Do not turn dinner into torture! Do not try to distract the child with a cartoon and shove it into it with a cunning "how much it will fit in" useful food. The benefit will be if the baby chews slowly, feels the taste, enjoys the smell and color of the meal, begins to perceive the family meal not as a load of calories and vitamins, but as a pleasant ritual. It is important not to force to eat everything to bits and not allow "snacks" during the day. If children participate in cooking from an early age, they eat at the same table with adults, they are offered at least to try all the dishes that are on the table.
Yes, you can tell the stories. The child tells in the kindergarten that his father is a famous race car driver, and he himself was shot in the cinema on weekends. Fudge is a natural part of childhood, when reality and fantasy are intertwined. Do not make fun of the child and do not fool him, but respect his game. If you want to show that his story is more like a fairy tale, tell me that this is a great story, and ask for more information about it. The child creates his own world, different from the adult world, builds his universe through imagination. Show sincere interest in him, because creative people so need a listener.It is impossible to make a list of rules, and then to read to the child a declaration of his rights and duties. Children will grow, change, constantly check the boundaries for strength and expand them. This is a natural and very interesting process. The main thing is that there should be few prohibitions and you must be able to explain to yourself and the child what their meaning is.
Yes, you CAN GET YOURSELF. It is worthwhile to allocate a special time so that the kid can do it at his own pace, without fuss and haste. After all, this is a whole adventure - finding the place where you need to poke your head, arms and legs. And independent putting on of gloves and button fastening in general in top 10 best exercises for brain development. Of course, if you are late, you can say: "I'm sure you can do it, but now you have to hurry. Now I'll help you, and in the evening you can change into your pajamas yourself. "
Yes, you can get MISSED. From time to time, allow the child to arrange a creative mess in the room. Encourage research activity on a walk: let the child build dams, lie on the grass, burrow into the autumn leaves. Modern children find it increasingly difficult to feel part of nature, so parents should be encouraged to play any outdoor games without fear of stains on clothes. You also have a washing machine.
Yes, you can HELP ME AT THE ECONOMY. In 2-3 years, almost all children willingly and with pleasure wipe the dust, water the flowers and prepare with the mother desserts. At 7-8, half of the children lose enthusiasm. To prevent this from happening, come up with ways to make the cleaning fascinating.
Yes, you can decide for yourself what to do. Do not try to paint his day by minute, do not offer a constantly limited choice of the type "Do you want to play cars or dice?" Be sensitive. Perhaps he does not miss, and comes up with a new game or just wants to sit in silence. This will help the child learn to respect other people's personal space.Read on this topic:
- About computers and bicycles
- Do not pull the cat by the tail!
- Parenting the child's willpower