Dr. Seuss, an American writer, in his remarkable book, "Tales of the Elephant of Horton", has a wise phrase that we often forget in dealing with children: "Let the person be no more than the eye of an ant, but the person is a person! So I think. " How often do we try these words on ourselves and how rarely - on our own child! Especially when the kid behaves "inadequately and indecently." It is easier for us to pull a child, than to try to understand the oddities of the little girl. And to understand the meaning of "strange" children's actions is worth. Feed me, granny!
Probably, every mother faced with "hunger strike ads", when the child completely refuses to eat, turning away from a spoon with soup or completely dropping a plate with food from the table. Usually such "culinary battles" are played out in 1,5-2 years. The reason is that the child suddenly ... realizes his individuality. The kid suddenly discovers that he can choose, speak, express his own opinion. Of course, this happens at a primitive level, and yet the child begins to separate himself from his parents. But while the field where the kid can defend the position and feel the "power of the word" is too narrow. Here much depends on the reaction of the parents. When the mother worries excessively that a son or daughter does not want to eat meat or drink milk, she tries to "force" at least a spoon with force or persuasion. As a result, the child has a strong opposition. He wants to be heard, to prove the right to desire (or unwillingness). As a result, every meal turns into hours of battles: mother screams, grandmother wails, and the child runs around the apartment with cries of protest.
However, the worry about child malnutrition is usually unnecessary: in fact, children do not need much food to satisfy their hunger. Therefore, it is more reasonable to show flexibility: "Do not want to have dinner - excellent. But then the sweets will be only after dinner. If you want a snack, you can drink yogurt and eat an apple. " When the kid sees that no one "is above the soul", does not persuade, he will understand: there is nothing to prove. In the future, always try to offer the child a reasonable choice, limited by frame. For example, before preparing breakfast, ask: "What will you be: an omelet or boiled egg?" On the one hand, the baby will make an independent decision, on the other - whatever option the child chooses, you will be satisfied with both answers.A worn out record?
The universe of fairy tales and book stories is an amazing and vast world, thanks to which the child learns moral values, replenishes vocabulary and broadens his horizons. The earlier parents introduce the baby to the book, the better - every mother knows that. But often the long-awaited evenings with a book turn for parents into a boring occupation. "I bought a dozen new books for my son, colorful and original, but every night he begs me to read him" Moidodyr "! Again and again! I already learned to learn poetry! "Natalia, mother of 2-year-old Goshi, laments with sad annoyance. Of course, it is not easy to read the same book for several days (and sometimes - weeks). But children learn the stories they heard in parts, gradually, so regular repetition is necessary. In addition, remembering in advance what will happen to Kolobok, the child learns to analyze, connect the past, present and future, draw conclusions. When the kid finally understands and remembers the whole text, he will switch to another book.
And do not worry: the love for "repetition" passed by the baby will disappear by 4-5 years!Any manifestation of a child's bad behavior is explained in some way. To solve the problem, one must try to understand the cause of the conflict. And for this, take the position of the child. Powerful Throw
Most children have a rather early sense of humor. Still immature, sometimes incomprehensible to adults. It's enough to make a face, so that the kid burst out laughing. Well, if you slip and fall on the road, fun and there is no end. Some kids want to amuse the public themselves: they are twisted, fooled, or even ... hurled by objects. Really funny: you go into the room, and you meet a cube or a tumbler. In the perception of young children, any non-standard action is a bright, cheerful deed. Therefore, when a child starts throwing toys, he wants to cause delight, smiles, to deserve praise, but receives criticism and punishment. Of course, there is no need to encourage such antics, but you should calmly explain to the crumb that he could injure others. And by all means teach the child to attract attention in other ways: to tell poems, perform songs, dance. Find a positive application to the desire to stand out. Also think, whether not a little you give time to the child? Such actions may indicate a lack of attention from the parents.Rotate 180 degrees
A walk in the playground is a way out for the baby, the space of which is limited by the close world of relatives and friends. On the playground, in the sandbox, parents often discover with astonishment how much the child's behavior changes when he enters the children's team. There are new features, weaknesses and strengths of the child's character, almost invisible in the family circle. Often mothers are amazed: noisy, playful and sociable children suddenly become timid and quiet.
"At home Misha is not chattering," says Tatiana, the mother of 3-year-old Misha. - He loves noisy, lively games, loves to fight in the evenings, playing with his husband. In the family we have fun, jokes, laughter, often there are guests, neighbors, friends. With relatives Misha contacts without hesitation. But when he saw a stranger, even a coeval, he was immediately clamped. The sandbox for a long time stands motionless, silently watching other children, smiling shyly and not daring to speak. "Once you stop worrying about the baby eating badly and refusing the habit of persuading him to eat another spoon, his appetite will improve.
Parents are lost. Mom does not know: where does shyness come from? Especially if the house is free, light atmosphere. However, a child can be somewhat shy by nature, revealing itself only in a familiar, friendly environment. In addition, at a certain age, about 1-1.5 years, children divide others into "their own" and "strangers." "Strangers" kids are afraid, shy, can hide a person, do not answer questions, growl or frown in response. Children need time to adapt to the new person, and the terms are individual: one child will get used to a stranger in an hour, and another will need more than one meeting. With age, such fear will pass, and the task of the mother is to help the baby, to learn to get acquainted properly, to "prepare" mentally for a meeting with new people.
To do this, you can read tales of friendship, acquaintance, play scenes with dolls and, of course, demonstrate by your own example friendliness and sociability: talk to other parents and children on the site, make friends, and talk. If the mother will notice that at some holiday or a visit the child is shy, afraid to approach the children, there is no need to persuade, reproach or shame the baby. It's worth bringing him to the children's company, asking the names of the children, loudly pronouncing the child's name and starting a joint game. And even if the kid is obstinate and will stand aside, watching what is happening, he will absorb communication skills, learn to start a conversation - and after a while he will want to meet and play.Read on this topic:
- His own among strangers
- Shy child
- How children love their parents