Question to the psychologist: my children are fighting

"I have twins (1 year 2 months) - a boy and a girl. Recently, Kolya began to constantly beat Natasha, jealousy began to show itself to me, to my father. Tell me, is this normal between a brother and a sister? How should I behave? Do they have the opportunity to figure it out for themselves? "Catherine, Moscow

The relationship between twins is a special topic. They always have a lot of intimacy and at the same time a lot of rivalry. After a year between twins, jealousy often occurs, when each child requires parents to pay special attention to themselves. This is a natural stage, which is easier if the mother and father manage to pay equal attention to both children.

The fight between brothers and sisters is a direct result of the rivalry and almost inevitable part of their interaction. But for twins it is also a way of separation, separation, a way of saying "I'm different, I'm stronger". The son and daughter are only now learning how to express their feelings, including aggression. It is not so easy for them to do it safely for each other. In this sense, you are right: it is important to learn to distinguish between situations in which the brother and sister can understand themselves, and those in which your direct intervention is required. Children are still very small, and at this age you need your presence to stop direct aggression, for example, a boy aimed at a sister or any other child. What can you do? Stand between the kids, share them, firmly and calmly tell your son that you can not beat your sister, but he can beat a pillow or a big soft toy, briefly divorce the children in different rooms. It is important for babies to learn that feeling displeasure or anger is normal, however, it is necessary to express your negative emotions so as not to harm yourself or another. After that, switch their attention to other activities, offer a light snack or arrange for a rest. Try to analyze, in what moments usually there is a fight. Often the cause of this behavior at a small age is fatigue, hunger, irritation or fatigue from each other.

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