If your child is a "scum"

"Mom, and Anton poured soup at dinner. Light for a walk climbed up the hill! And they do not allow us ... I threw my ball off the fence. I cried! "- And so all the way from the garden. Why is this happening?

The word "sabbath" as such does not apply to young children. Kids only learn social relations, learn norms of communication, only begin to understand the question "what is good and what is bad." In 3 years, children can only evaluate others' actions, they do not see logs in their eyes. And this is normal. Up to 3 years old (no matter how genius it may be), it is difficult to calculate the situation and benefit from paucity. "So, Danila did not give me a toy, and I will tell you that he poured sand into his pockets, he will be scolded. Will know how to be greedy! "No, the kid does not think so.

1. I will tell the whole world!

The child wants to tell you about the events taking place with him, to share his impressions. They are driven by emotions, and not by the desire to annoy another, or to show their advantage over the guilty children. Even at 2 years old, the crumb can complain to you, demonstrating how well he is able to talk about what happened. What's bad about it? After all, we also complain about our bosses or our friends: to listen, we are not looking for obvious benefits. Of course, the child shares information not only to get it out - he wants to find out if it's really a bad thing to determine if it's possible to behave this way or not. The kid learns to evaluate the behavior of other people. A child under 3 years old can judge actions by observing the reaction of an adult.

How will you behave? Your reaction will determine whether he will close or satisfy the need for the necessary information, whether the complaints will last forever or the kid will adopt the generally accepted norms of morality. Deny him "complain" - lose trust. Having assessed the situation (and not specific children), switch attention. Some cases can later be beaten with toys, so that the kid himself could appreciate such an act and did not talk about him as a special incident.

Respect the baby, do not hang labels on him, increase self-esteem. Praise more often than scold. The most universal advice in all situations - love your child! 2. Help!

Sometimes the kid complains because he is still counting on your help rather than on his own. It is often difficult or impossible for him to understand what is happening on his own. The Czech teacher Janusz Korczak wrote: "It's ugly to complain? Who established this rule? Unscrupulous teachers do not want to know what is happening among children, it is easier for them to brush off an offended child, call it a whore. And the baby needs understanding and compassion. "

How to behave? Not always is a policy of non-interference. Listen to the baby, tell him how he feels. By this you will show that you understood it. Understand the situation, weigh the "power categories". If you do not help the crumb to solve his small problems, after growing up, he will not turn to you in case of really serious problems that require immediate intervention of an adult.

3. Honest honest

Adultery can provoke child pandering among children. The educator or parents ask the most honest child to tell who has done something. Children, focused on the truth, give out "hooligans". Anxious, timid kids can not resist the demand of an adult.

How to behave? Explain to the crumb that he does not have to tell everything: "Truth is good, but if it's a broken vase or a broken toy, you can just explain that you can not say who did it: he was busy with his game!"

4. I'm the best!

Poverty can be caused by jealousy. The child, as it were, says: "Look, she's behaving badly. I'm better, why do you love her more? "

How to behave? Try to pay more attention to the "scum": this child lacks caring and affection. Increase his self-esteem. On the same complaints, react calmly, do not punish the elder, or lay the first brick of this pandering.

5. Order first!

The kid likes to give out all the faults of the children, but the crumb speaks honestly, does not invent anything. He takes social norms very closely to heart. This is slander, but unselfish. The kid is outraged by the misconduct of children, because he would have been convicted in the family.

How to behave? Review the system of punishments and rewards. Too many "impossible"? The kid tries to fit others into the same narrow framework in which he himself is. Encourage communication with other children and allow him to sometimes be naughty. If the crumb sees a "crime", first let him know about the "criminal": "Misha, do not jump into a puddle, your feet will get wet, and you will get sick. Do not believe me - ask my mother! "

Sometimes a child can warn of a danger. Do not say "Okay, go play" or "Enough of mischief!" Try to understand what moves the baby. Anton pushes Masha under the swing? Your little one is afraid for the consequences.

And I'll tell you everything!

The kid promises to other children that their wrong behavior will be immediately reported to their parents. They have someone to learn from. How often do adults promise the crumb to complain about it to mom, dad, grandmother? Yes, all the time!

Read on this topic:
  • Causes of senseless lies in children
  • 10 phrases from our childhood that are not worth talking to a child
  • How good children grow out of bad children: the evolution of "bad" behavior