The world of fairy-tale princesses has long crossed from books and cartoons into our daily life. It is replicated in prints of children's clothes, bed linen and even in sets of cosmetics, turning into a huge, profitable industry. How to make the blond beauty in shiny and pink do not become the only role model of your little daughter?
Six-year-old Annie White, who lives in South Dakota, like all her friends, loves to watch cartoons about fairies and princesses and dresses in the same clothes as her idols. Annie's mom, Paul, admits that at first she and her husband treated tulle lush skirts, shiny handbags and painted nails with affection. She recalls that once, when she was going to bed, her daughter decided to show her a kiss, which the princess gave to the beloved prince. Paul admits that this confused her, as she looked quite frankly for a little girl. Later, she and her husband learned that the same kisses on the lips were addressed to the boys in the kindergarten. "This event first made us seriously think about the influence of" innocent princesses "and about what we read and let our children see," she says.
The birthplace of the beautiful Princesses' industry was the USA, where the producers first felt the huge commercial potential of the magical images. Here, not only new toys and costumes are being developed, but even beauty salons have been created, designed to make little clients look like their fairy idols. However, in the place of Annie it is easy to imagine any other girl, because "princess" successfully spread all over the world, without going around our country. So wherever we live, we, the parents of girls, most likely will have to face this. And develop your own behavior strategy.
Psychologists believe that the new culture of fairy beauties, forcing her adepts to demand more and more brilliant and rosy attributes, has a frankly negative influence. The significance of which we have not yet fully realized is simply because the phenomenon is quite young. "The image of a princess in the Barbie style, formed today for children by mass culture, is dangerous because the girls learn a dubious message: when they grow up, they must certainly be as thin, have lush breasts and lips, marry the prince, settle in the castle and have servants, - says psychologist Olga Kravskaya. "This, on the one hand, fosters a false attitude towards the body, dangerous because it can lead to eating disorders when they are teenagers, when children refuse to eat in order to reach the standards of beauty imposed on them. On the other hand, it forms an openly consumeristic life position: the main thing is to be beautiful, and then a fabulous life awaits you. "
Of course, through the defile in the mother's shoes on his heels (the bravest get to the stores of cosmetics) and prettiness before the mirror are almost all the girls. To forbid this is like joining a battle with the most feminine nature. The question here is, as always, in a sense of proportion. "Playing a princess for a preschooler is a natural stage of development, an important phase of self-identification: awareness of one's sex and one's sexuality," says Sharon Lamb, a psychologist and author of Packing Girlhood. - However, if this game is not controlled by adults in any way and goes too far, then it can be devastating for the child. Children today are gradually being instilled with the only propagandized standard of beauty - usually an extremely thin girl with the right facial features, to which they begin to equal in the early teenage years with the help of unhealthy diets and an abundance of cosmetics. In addition, the bet on everything pink and brilliant in the illustrations of books, dresses of dolls and even in everyday clothes is hardly capable of teaching a child to see and appreciate beauty in a natural nature, without artificial embellishment. Thus, since childhood we steal and simplify the taste of the child. "
In these films and books, fairy-tale characters have important human qualities. In addition, some of them appear in images that differ from the standard canon of beauty. This brings up the idea of diversity among children.
Cartoons and movies
- "Dora in a fairy-tale country"
- "The Princess Diaries"
- "Three nuts for Cinderella"
- Charles Perrault "Cinderella"
- Tezuka Osamu "The Princess Knight"
- Philippe Lecchermeier, Rebecca Dotremer, "The Princesses Unknown and Forgotten"
If the assortment of clothes for preschool girls abounds skirts dancers, prints depicting fairy-tale characters and a scattering of sparkles on shoes, then by the age of seven, faced with the need to change the wardrobe, parents are surrounded by things "hot". "Departments for girls are full of adult clothing, just smaller," admits Marina, the mother of seven-year-old twins Olya and Bones. "These are T-shirts with prints of sparkling hearts, super short shorts and skirts, frankly tight jeans." "These clothes do not match age and attract unnecessary attention to young girls," she said.The Art of Magic Compromises
"Lola was born with a special glamor gene," her mother Alina jokes. - In two years my daughter could easily apply my lipstick without a mirror. At three - insisted that we dressed her in the dainty skirts of the ballerina. In five years she called herself a fashion designer and painted her own styles of dresses. And now she wears something out of clothes that might seem overly adult. " Alina does not care. "Yes, my daughter likes things she looks older in, but she still behaves like a child and does not try to try on the behavior of adults. In the end, it's just a game. "
Indeed, some girls have an innate craving for feminine things (in particular, if this, as in the case of Lola, meets support from the mother). And no attempt to interest them with other toys or things will make you completely abandon your hobby. However, and the tomboy girl, who was gifted with Barbie dolls, is unlikely to turn into a lover of lush skirts. At the same time, marketers cultivate their interest only in playing the princess, with all her desired and well-sold attributes. Maria Bailey, the presenter of the American radio program Mom Talk Radio and the mother of four children, believes that companies are going too far, introducing the child to products that are obviously not yet suitable for him. "Since it is senseless to admonish producers, our parental task is to protect our children from an avalanche of things that are not age-appropriate and impede harmonious development," she said. - Do you agree to indulge your child's dependence on the image of fairy-tale beauties exploited by manufacturers? Do you agree to allow your daughter to dress up and wear vulgar clothes? If not, then you should not buy this. However, it is important to act not only by prohibitions. We must try to explain to the children that this is frankly ugly, and offer an alternative. In the end, our parental authority must be stronger than that of marketers. "
True, it is important that the mother herself, following this position, be sincere and consistent. Because sometimes we ourselves are victims of those same false standards imposed by the manufacturers of the beauty industry and fashionable gloss. "It becomes our common illness: both children and their parents. After all, on this hook with success fall and adult women, "- recalls Maria Bailey.
Irina, the mother of the six-year-old Alena, says she is trying to be a positive example for her daughter. "I love cosmetics, but I do not always put it," she says. - And often I pay attention to it: "Look, my mother today without make-up. After all, we go for a walk in the park, and then go shopping. And it is not needed. " Irina explains to her daughter that you should not dress up in a beautiful dress or wear heels. And Alena is sure that even without make-up, in simple jeans, her mother is beautiful. "I do not want to protect my daughter from temptations, rather I try to teach her how to treat everything critically," Irina says. - And to explain that everything has its time. You can dress up for a campaign for a birthday or with your mother in a cafe, but in everyday life, in a kindergarten and for a walk, you should dress differently. Otherwise it will look ridiculous. Alena still respects my opinion and listens to me. "
Polina, the mother of the five-year-old Lyuba, also adheres to the same tactics. "I'm not thrilled with the maniacal craving for pink color and the brilliant accessories of fairies," Polina admits. - But what to do if this is the life of the girls. I try to find an educational balance: to protect Lyuba from the excessively aggressive pressure of the outside world and at the same time leave her free to go through this natural stage of growing up. While we find a compromise. Luba does not like trousers, and I sewed her beautiful dresses for her every day, but without the symbols of the princesses. She is happy with this. She also has a coveted dress with flounces and a fluffy skirt, and slippers with rhinestones, but this we put on mostly at home, playing in the castle. We agreed that in the garden and on the street the real princesses go in more comfortable clothes. But I have nothing against it, if in the evening she wants to change into her favorite outfit and play in it. Maybe that's why we almost never have quarrels over clothes. "
Parents of preschool children have a privilege, which is gradually lost by mothers and dads of more adult children - they are able to influence the lives of their babies. And it is now important to lay out the notion of what is true beauty and what qualities in a person are valued above all else. "While we, parents, buy books and toys ourselves, it is important to pay attention to the most important and valuable qualities of these princesses and fairies: kindness, the ability to make friends, take care of animals and come to the aid of those who are weaker and defenseless," says psychologist Olga Kravskaya . - It is important to emphasize that this, and not the golden hair and beautiful dress, distinguish favorite characters from among other characters. And to become a true princess, you need, first of all, qualities that you can not buy in a store. It is very important that the children absorb it in time. After all, when they reach adolescence, confronting the world of much more aggressively acting glamor will be much more difficult than the world of children's princesses. "
Polina, the little Luba's mother, says she is worried about what kind of clothes the daughter will choose to by the age of twelve. However, recently it received an encouraging sign for itself. Her friend gave her a reading of the magazine column, which dealt with the letter of a troubled reader: she complained about how dangerous the time in which she was destined to be brought up by her daughters. Was under the letter and date - 1800 year. "Parents in all ages were worried because their children are forced to live in such an imperfect world," Polina admits. "It made me smile and cheered up a bit."Memo to the Pope Studies show that parenting in a sense of self-confidence is much better for fathers than for mothers. So, do not forget about some rules:
It is important that the girl must know - dad is proud of her and considers her beautiful. You should not stint compliments, but, at the same time, do not always emphasize only the feminine qualities of the daughter, for example, call her only the Princess. It is also important that the pope encourage games and activities not related to the world of beautiful fairies.
Try to break stereotypes, for example: a household - only women's work. If the pope is not the most outstanding culinary expert, he can master a few simple dishes and cook them with his daughter. Even the busiest parent on weekends is able to cover the children's table or together clean the room. So the daughter will see: men and women can live in equitable, partnership relations.
Dad - the first guide to the "male world", which opens to the girl. It is important that this world does not seem alien and distant to her, and she perceived it as an organic part of life. Therefore, it is important for the father to share with his daughter and his interests. If you like sports or fishing, play together in the ball or show how the rod works. The girl is important to see that in addition to her girlish hobbies there are many interesting things.Princess Girl: What Pink Dreams Bring to Doll is the key to the door to adulthood Education of the senses