Difficult times pass
During pregnancy, motherhood seemed to me a fairy tale. Of course, I knew that with the advent of the baby our life will change radically. But I could not imagine that it would be so difficult for us to get used to a new way of life.
Natalia Nikonova, Tver
Pregnancy and birth are behind - and here we are with my son at home. Even a year later, I clearly remember that feeling of confusion and impotence. I did not know what to do with the child, how and when to feed it, what to wear, how to take care of. More precisely, in theory, I knew all this, but in practice it seemed to me that I was doing everything wrong. I was terribly afraid to be alone with him. It seemed to me that if he starts to cry, I can not calm him down. The kid did not eat well, slept restlessly, often cried. At night, he woke up 8-10 times. In the evenings I began to cry, and we could not do anything about it. And most importantly - I could not get used to the fact that I was my mother. I could not realize it. And it is not true that the maternal instinct appears with the birth of a child. Very much takes much more time.
In the first month I hated everything around. I always wanted to sleep. I did not remember what and when I ate. Sometimes I did not even have time to comb my hair in the morning. The sensation of unlimited fatigue, depression was intertwined with irritation, anxiety and insecurity. And all this taking into account the fact that we temporarily moved to live with my parents, who helped in everything. I remember one day, having put the child to sleep at last, I sat down and burst into tears. It seemed to me that life was over, I was not created for motherhood. Very strongly at that moment my mom helped me. She always understood me from the half-look and supported. She explained to me that this is just fatigue after childbirth, which arose on the background of the novelty of the situation, the unknown and a huge amount of new information. Mom told me that this is normal, it will soon pass, just need to give yourself a little time.
Sharing my anxiety with my family, I realized how much I felt better. Grandmother and grandfather walked with the child, giving me the opportunity to sleep. The husband was washing the sliders and diapers, stroking the mountains of linen. I was released from almost all domestic affairs, giving the opportunity to rest and recover. When my husband returned from work, my grandmother took the baby, allowing us to have dinner and talk together.
Gradually, the forces began to return to me. I stopped being angry and annoyed. I began to have fun caring for the baby, was happy and proud, seeing his first achievements. I finally realized that I love my little son. Love very much. And all the old fears seemed to me such nonsense!
The help of family and friends at the right time was priceless. Now I am a wonderful mother of a wonderful baby. I can not imagine my life without him. I'm sure of myself. I know that I can always calm my child, feed him, put him to sleep. I know that no one will do it better than me.
I want to advise young mothers who are in this situation, do not keep everything in themselves. Tell your husband, parents, do not hesitate to ask for help. Explain specifically what is required of them. Remember about your rest. During the sleep of the baby, sleep yourself.
It is very important after giving birth to let the body recover. Postpone all the cases that take your strength from you and take you away from the child. Do not shut yourself in, communicate with friends, friends. Find time to call them on the phone, for example, while walking with a stroller. Communicate more often with women who have children. You will understand that there is more than one! Understand that you can and should be happy!
Children grow up very quickly. The time when they need your care, will not last long. Learn to find every minute joy! Apperciate things which you have. Very soon you will get used to a new way of life and understand that there is nothing better than feeling like a mother!