The baby follows his older sister on his heels, carefully copying her gestures and deeds. Sometimes this behavior takes her "idol" out of herself! How to relate to this stage of imitation: to encourage the desire of the younger child to keep up with the elder or to insist on the individuality of everyone?
At first it seemed funny to you to watch your little one give up a morning bottle of milk and demand a cup of flakes and a spoon. That's how her big sister breakfasts. You were pleasantly amazed when you heard how she, without a single mistake, rang the alphabet, which the sister began to teach at school. But, in the end, what's so surprising about it? She's literally following her sister's heels. Of course, she makes rapid progress in the fact that the elder spent much more time developing it. To catch up with her sister, to be in everything like her, is the main goal of the little girl, and she tries very hard. Therefore, it is not strange that she succeeds in this.
Often, when you have several children of the same sex in your family, you offer them the same games and classes and wear them almost equally. In the end, they become like each other like two drops of water! And then, when the younger becomes much more independent - eating and dressing without your help, it makes your life much easier.The model to follow
Until now, your little girl has imitated only mom and dad. But now she realized that her older sister is a much more suitable model for imitation. They spend a lot of time together, and this brings them even closer together. The youngest in anything does not want to lag behind the eldest, she is interested in all the activities and hobbies of the "adult" sister. "When Alice does a few dance moves, trying on a new skirt, you can be sure that in a few moments Pauline will repeat them," laughs the girls' mom. The period of imitation is important for the development of the child, but only if it is not too prolonged. To learn something new, the child needs samples, but it is also important that he shows his personality. Be prepared for the fact that the youngest will quickly learn not only new skills, but also bad habits after the elder. And will pick them up to the smallest detail. "Nikita always liked green beans. But it cost Anton one evening at the table to push the plate away from himself, as he declared that he did not love her anymore. And it is impossible to convince him, - the mother of boys complains. "He keeps repeating everything to his brother - the best and the worst."Time for competition
Your youngest will not always be small. At some point, he will understand that you can do without a model to follow. He already knows and knows so much, he developed his own interests and attachments. The kid increasingly feels that his brother takes away his parents' love, and no longer looks at him with infinite adoration. Now it's his turn, he wants to be the same as the big brother, but only better to win first place in your heart! That's when the real difficulties begin. Of course, the kid can quickly learn from the elder. But there are activities that will be really difficult for him, for example, to read a book in bed before going to bed. The bar is too high, and the child starts to get angry. As for your elder, if before he was proud of being set as an example, and he felt great in the role of an adored brother, a role model, now he is trying to get rid of this clone, which copies everything in it. He is annoyed that the younger repeats everything he says, takes his Lego constructor to build the same tower, asks him to buy him the same toys, tell the same fairy tale ... Moreover, he indignantly notes that you do not mind it imitation or, at least, it causes interest in you. And on top of everything, if a quarrel occurs, he is always guilty: "You're already big, you have to show a good example." Suddenly it turns out that being elder is not at all fun. On the contrary, the little brother, who has already taken up a lot of space in your life, continues to win more and more space. Idylls are over, children constantly shout, quarrel, are jealous. This couple drives you crazy!Speak:
- "Your sister draws well. And you too. Show me what you can draw yourself. "
- "You do not have to play with your sister, if you do not want to. Just politely tell her about it. "
- "Tell me what kind of toys you like and with what you now want to play."
Being too zealous in imitation of a brother or sister, the younger one does not sufficiently show his own individuality and runs the risk of missing some important stages of development. The more we value the differences of children, the more we give the younger a chance to gain self-confidence and stop identifying with the elder. Each child has his own personality, his strengths, and they need to be encouraged. The less difference in age among children, the more important it is: every child should be supported by the sense of uniqueness of his world view, behavior, abilities. Let the children choose their classes to their liking, even if it would be more convenient for you to drive them to the same studios and sections. Emphasize that the elder has some advantages over the younger, for example, allow him to read more in the evenings and not to put out the light in the room. Spend some time with each child individually. They should have the opportunity to talk with their parents, to assert themselves before them without influence, sometimes too intrusive, a brother or sister. Offer children different activities: while the elder is watching TV in the living room, the younger one can draw in the kitchen. Of course, it will not be possible to avoid disputes altogether, but still your efforts will not be wasted.Never say:
- "Stop painting the same thing as your sister. Why are you copying it? "
- "Let your little sister play with you. She's still small, be patient with her. "
- "You're too young to climb this hill like your sister."