Most parents are sure that boys should play in the war, and girls - in the "daughter-mother." In fact, everything is somewhat more complicated. Why - says psychologist Natalia Bogdanova.
Anyone who has had to raise children of both sexes will tell you that the difference between them is noticeable from the first days and nothing can be done about it. The boys, sitting in wheelchairs, admire the passing cars passing by, and the girls begin to hold their head confidently and clap their cilia at the sight of a pleasant male face. And if you decide, out of philanthropic considerations, not to supply your offspring with weapons and ammunition, he will make a sword and pistols from planks and other improvised means. What are the reasons for this early self-determination? Is it only in the unconscious messages and the parents' very conscious expectations?
As it usually happens in life, everything is somewhat more complicated. Of course, parents' behavior patterns influence early identification with their gender. As a rule, girls are treated more gently and delicately, paying special attention to appearance and attire. Parents of boys are more focused on physical development, independence, endurance and activity. But many studies confirm that the process is at a much deeper level. Already during intrauterine development, some areas of the brain in some more developed and better than others. Which means that boys and girls are born with certain development trends. As children grow, their inherent gender differences influence their preferences in choosing classes and success in certain areas. And this selectivity, in turn, affects the functioning of the brain. When children think and play, cells in the active parts of the brain are activated, and those that are not involved - are reduced. And the sex differences that exist at birth are amplified.
Be sure to remember that researchers in the field of behavior of the sexes compare the "average boy" with the "average girl". If you do not take this into account, then you start to think: "Boys need it, but girls do it", forgetting that all boys and girls are different and need, of course, in different ways.Russian language lessons
One study showed that women in the brain region responsible for speech have a much larger number of nerve endings than men. This explains the fact that girls usually begin to speak a few months earlier than boys, before they connect words and build longer and more complex sentences. The verbal side of communication is given to them much easier, and in school, young ladies usually outperform boys in reading and writing lessons.Mathematical equation
The area of the brain responsible for spatial perception is more developed in boys - this explains why boys better imagine objects in three-dimensional space. In one study, for example, 21% of 2-year-old boys were able to build a bridge of cubes. And girls - 8%. At the same time, boys can not monopolize the title of mathematical geniuses. Although on the tests the best results are shown by the boys, the worst ones are the same, so the average girls come forward.
More advanced relationships with space explain the fact that boys usually start walking 1-2 months earlier than girls, and often surpass them in physical development, run better and jump. However, the brain regions responsible for fine motor skills develop more slowly in boys, and the girls are confidently leading where they need fingers: they better hold a pencil, zip up a jacket and write letters.
Young ladies are more cautious and circumspect than young gentlemen.Sensitive floor
Girls have a better developed brain area, which is responsible for evaluating and interpreting events and related complex feelings, such as sadness and sympathy. The boy's brain is relatively more developed in that area where more primitive feelings, such as fear and anger, are born. That's why girls are often upset in situations that do not hurt boys. And boys in difficult circumstances are much more likely than girls to show aggression. Girls are more delicate and impressionable, and at the age after three years you can already notice a tangible difference between the sexes. Boys are more direct and conflictful and at the same time less sensitive to moral or physical strikes. Thanks to this, they manage to get out of controversial situations more easily. After the fight, the boys soon become reconciled, and the girls can remain enemies for a long time.Little Men
By the age of two, boys are noticeably more active physically than girls. They run, jump, and they can rarely be found behind a calm conversation. Their bullying is associated with a higher level of aggression. The topic of rivalry and power struggles for boys is more significant, not for nothing they love superheroes.
Boys must be taught to openly express their feelings.
Analyzing role plays, the researchers found that girls often choose the motif at home, and the boys - the idea of death and destruction. With regard to boys, parents often focus on their physical abilities and increased level of activity, but meanwhile they need our caress and words. Boys need to hug, take in their hands. When the boy is still very small, he can at any time caress his mother. But when he gets older and sees that the parents are embarrassed, he stops addressing them. As a result, many boys have difficulties with expressing and understanding their feelings. And their desire for physical contact often begins to manifest itself through aggressive behavior. The ability to respond emotionally, the ability to orient oneself in one's own feelings and understand others can not be attributed to one of the sexes. This impoverishes and complicates the life of the boy, and then the adolescent and the man.Caution!
Girls are more attentive to what is happening around, so they are better able to foresee the consequences of their actions - they are more circumspect and cautious than boys. Inspired by danger and risk, the boys most often overestimate their physical abilities. And their girlfriends, on the contrary, are inclined to underestimate them. That's why the boy thinks that it's great to ride a skateboard on metal rails, and most girls will decide that this is a crazy idea.
Parents in the upbringing adhere to the personal and the most widely spread in the society notions about the difference of the sexes. Whatever the genetic prerequisites for the development of certain qualities, parents strengthen them if they are "fixed" for one of the sexes. The girl deviates from the solution of a difficult problem? She is not persuaded in the way that the boy would be persuaded, especially if it concerns physical effort or the ability to take risks. As a result, girls do not learn what they can fully master.Stress Code
Boys are often better trained in tense situations - competitive, with tasks for a while. The female brain is better able to withstand long-term stress. Therefore, girls are more tolerant of various life conflicts, such as a prolonged divorce of parents.