What if the child is manipulating you?

The child manipulates his parentsManipulation - is the impact on others in hidden ways. Children often use this weapon to achieve their goal. And, if the parents succumb to the child's cunning, this behavior is fixed to him and is transformed into pathological features of the character. Why do manipulations occur? And how to deal with them? Children prone to manipulation, as a rule, are deprived of parental care and affection. With the help of various methods they try to attract attention, cause pity and sympathy. For example, a child gets hurt and cries, and my mother begins to console and embrace him. The kid noticed that this "worked" and at the unconscious level will again try to break his knee or hurt his finger. The same manifestation of manipulation is found in frequent colds and other diseases. The child does this unconsciously, but in the future the victim's position leaves a huge mark on his life path. In addition, manipulations include outbreaks of aggression, hysteria, slowness, etc.

How to deal with small tricks?

If the child's behavior in any given situation acquires a systematic character, this is manipulation. And, most importantly, the lull comes immediately after receiving the necessary amount of attention and care. To cope with manipulation, you need to give up any manifestation of pity for the baby. Only pity can defeat pity. Give the child love and tenderness, tell him kind and affectionate words, show that you respect and appreciate him as a person. Feeling full-fledged love throughout the day, the child will gradually give up his manipulations, as he will cease to see interest in them. Let's consider some examples of manipulations, and how to behave in similar situations.
  1. Bruises or colds Despite the real discomfort caused by trauma or illness, the kid, first of all, without understanding himself, takes advantage of the unhappy child. If you are in the "trap" of the child, behave with restraint and imperturbable. Do not soothe the child, it's better to say to him: You'll soon get well! "," You did the right thing, that you asked for help "," What a fine fellow, you cried and smiled a little! ".
  2. Irritability or aggression The child demonstrates his power to adults, to make them indulge their desires. In this case, the child is satisfied with the theater of one actor, in which the spectators are necessarily present. Of course, the audience is you, so you must leave his speech to deprive him of applause. Noticing that his "concert" does not affect his parents, the kid hardly wants to repeat it.
  3. Slowness Making slow movements, the child tries to evade his duties and pass them on to adults. Do not help him in dressing or other things. Tell him what you expect him to be ready for a certain time, and if he does not have time, he will remain without breakfast. If he wants to avoid going to school or to a kindergarten, let him know that he will still have to go there, even with a delay.
  4. Hysterics A persistent attempt to attract attention. The best reaction to this game will be indifference or conversation in a calm tone. You can invite the baby to speak with a aching voice every time he talks to his parent. If it's hard for you to watch the baby's whimper and roar, retire to a place where it will be hard for you to find one. How to react to children's tantrums read here.

The result of manipulation is always the negative attitude of the baby. Therefore, try to tune the child in an optimistic way, convince that his success depends only on himself, and not on external factors.

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