Communication plays a crucial role in the development of the child. It forms the basic communication skills that contribute to the child's further adaptation in society. The first experience of communication the child receives in direct interaction with parents. And on how they talk to him, will depend on his psychological development, intelligence, self-esteem, understanding of other people and the ability to behave in society. That's why it's very important to be able to talk with the child. Consider the basic tips that help build a literate and interesting conversation with the child.
How to make the conversation productive?
Your task is to put your child to yourself, to achieve mutual understanding and sincere agreement on his part. In other words, the child should not silently nod at every word of yours out of fear or other considerations, but take an active part in the general discussion.
You can achieve this result by following the following rules:
- Equality of the two sides during the conversation. Talking with the child, take the position of the interlocutor and the active listener interested in the topic of the conversation. Perceive the child as a person who has his own views and opinions, which may not coincide with yours. Do not pressure him, do not try to insist on your own, but on the contrary, show respect for his vision of this issue. The conversation should be friendly. Therefore, periodically pause between offers, giving the child the opportunity to speak or ask something.
- Words must not be empty. Your theories must be backed up by personal example, and promises - with a realization in life. Children are always guided by actions and deeds, rather than beautiful words and stories.
How to fill the conversation with emotions?
Try to start a conversation with a verbal contact, which has a special impact on children. Take the child by the hand, smile sweetly and look into his eyes. Speak with love and warmth, maintaining a calm and benevolent tone throughout the conversation. Never continue to talk in an indifferent or irritable tone. Better do household chores, get distracted, and when you calm down - go back to talking with the child. Many parents do not attach importance to this rule, thereby generating in the child an inferiority complex and a sense of uselessness. If the child feels indifference or anger in the voice of the parent, he unconsciously addresses these emotions in his direction. The idea that his father or mother does not love him can cause him strong resentment and a desire to resist everything.
How to conduct a dialogue?
- Try to use the words most understandable to the child and not use imaginative expressions.
- Be laconic. Children can not hold attention to a certain topic for a long time.
- Express your thoughts simply and logically, highlighting the main ideas from the context.
- Do not hide your true feelings and emotions.
- Choose the topic of the conversation by consulting with the child. Give preference to the topic that causes him the most interest.
How to punish?
Penalties should always be objective. Do not shout at the child, avoid threats and warnings, but calmly explain what is his fault. Be sure to emphasize that you punish him for a particular act, and not because he is "so bad." If the child realizes that you continue to love him as a person, he will necessarily want to improve.
How to give advice?
The Council is the way to guide a person, but do not show him the way. Do not rush to give the child direct advice, hint to him so that he guessed the correct decision. If he does not, tell him the best way out, but give him the right to choose himself. Of course, this is suitable for those solutions that do not entail significant consequences. Taking responsibility for yourself, the child feels trust on your part and gradually learns independence.
Communication with the child is a real art. To learn this craft, you need to have a great restraint, desire and love for your child. Following the above tips, you can avoid the typical mistakes and learn to build a literate and interesting conversation with the child.