Are you ready for kindergarten?

It is difficult not to agree with the fact that the kindergarten is a peculiar model of an adult society: there are contacts with older and peers, role relationships, rules of social behavior and discipline. And if you decide to give the kid to a kindergarten, you should think about how to help him adapt in new conditions. Willingness No. 1

The general readiness for kindergarten depends on what kind of life the kid leads and what skills he has.

- Talk with the observing pediatrician about the adaptive abilities of the child - the history of his intrauterine life, birth and early years is of considerable importance here. Psychological readiness of a child can be assessed by a child psychologist through a test for readiness for kindergarten and personal communication. How your little one can control aggression in dealing with children and adults; how does he feel parting with his mother or grandmother; is ready to follow the rules and do what the teacher asks; how jealous of their toys. "In many kindergartens of the kids, a psychologist takes part in the group," says Anna Pryanichnikova, psychologist-consultant at the Center for Psychocorrection, Social Adaptation and Education "Initiation". - Playing with the child, he makes an idea of ​​his level of development, skills. Based on the information collected, the psychologist gives recommendations on the selection of toys for the group. "

To get information about psychological and behavioral problems of the child, psychologists use drawing techniques in their work with children over 4 years old. Drawing is a kind of speech, with the help of which the child transmits a fragment of his experience or knowledge. This "speech" is usually addressed to adults. The plot, the quality and the colors of the picture are of importance: most often the children draw a good neat, bright "warm" colors, and the bad - casually, dark "cold". Figures of children under 4 years are less informative - in this case, gaming techniques are effective, for example finger, role-playing games, in which the child is asked the question: "Let's play: who are you?", That is, they propose to choose their own hero. In such games, children usually model situations that concern them. It should be noted that the psychologist works not only with the child, but also with the parents, because the child's problem can be associated with them.

Psychologists advise very psychologically-minded children to be gradually, cautiously and long before the kindergarten accustomed to independence according to the scheme "Mom will now leave, but she will definitely return (after how many minutes, at what time of the day), and when she returns, the baby with her mother will do something interesting (description of a particular lesson). " It is not necessary and try to "wean" the baby from the mother shortly before commencing a kindergarten: he can decide that his mother no longer loves him.

- It makes sense to arrange the baby to the educator and children. Assurances of love are reassuring, and a simple, clear and positive attitude to communicate with other children, to new games and toys evokes interest.

"Many psychologists still hold the view that logical arguments to a child of 3 years of age are incomprehensible," Anna Pryanichnikova believes. - The main motivation, in my opinion, is the interest in children, which arises in the baby in 3 years, interest in toys. Do not need to "loop" the baby on the impending change in his life. Do not say that my mother does not want to part with him, but it's so necessary. You can use the scheme of filing "we'll go together to the kindergarten" - she will not frighten the child, unlike the scheme "you will go."

It is worth remembering

There are simple tricks that help to understand what really happens to the child:

1. Ask. The child is not always the first to say that he does not want to go to kindergarten. Find out how he feels in the kindergarten, and to find out the reasons for the difficult adaptation can be leading questions that do not bear in the formulations of the alleged negative response. The wrong question will be: "Do you feel hurt?" Or "Does the teacher upset you?" If you received a negative answer to the correctly formulated question "Do you like (well) in the kindergarten?", Ask the baby questions suggesting story ("Why?", "And what do you (do not) like?"). Be interested in the details of the kindergarten life of the child: "With whom are you friends?", "What did you do today?", "Do you like the teacher?", "And what kind of teacher do you like?" Accompany each question with suggestive "Why?"

2. Listen. When a child talks about how his day went, delve into the story. If the kid asks about something that surprises you, it may mean that a situation has arisen that worries him.

3. Communicate. Daily communication with the child helps prevent many conflict situations. If stress took place, it is better not to focus on the child's attention. Speech, in particular, about the experience connected with a pain, with casual not serious trauma. Otherwise, the family risks to instill in the child an excessive fear of pain or to collide later with manipulation.

4. Explain. Do not fix the child and his wrong behavior: for example, if the kid has learned bad words in the garden, behaved ugly. Simply and understandably explain that you do not need to speak or act like this.

5. Observe. Pay attention to the games and drawings of the baby, analyze the changes in his character. A serious stressful situation in any case manifests itself in behavior.

- Encourage communication with other children, start together to go to a children's "university" or club, to the development center, where the child will have the opportunity to gradually understand the laws of communication with "alien" children and adults. In 1979, French psychotherapist Françoise Dolto opened in Paris La Maison Verte ("Green House") - a free club for children from 0 to 4 years old and their parents, which gives the child the opportunity to communicate and prepare him for the kindergarten. Children come there when they want - they do not register, but only record the name and age of the child, the family status of the accompanying person. Among "accepting" (psychologists, pediatricians and teachers) there must be a man. Personnel are replaced often, so that the children are not imposed on the worldview of "host". Preparation of the child for kindergarten occurs in the course of usual communication with the "receiving" and other guests. Games that are held in the club are aimed specifically at communication, and not specific development. "Green houses" provide an opportunity for communication and parents.

"Another option," Anna Pryanichnikova suggests, "is to record the baby for classes in the children's development center: children 1,5-2,5 years old go there with their parents, and when the kids are addicted to the game, parents gradually" turn off "from it, and then and leave the door. That is, my mother is near, but the child is learning to play with other children and to get along for a while without her. If he asks where his mother is, they bring him to her. It is necessary to carry out the child's expulsion from the constant mother's presence very carefully - first in a familiar environment, at home. In an unfamiliar environment, this can be done when the child has already learned to "let go" Mom a little. "

German quality

In 43 countries of the world (in Europe, Asia, Africa and America) there are Waldorf kindergartens and schools that first appeared at the beginning of the 20th century in Germany in Stuttgart at the Waldorf-Astoria factory. Waldorf pedagogy was formed on the basis of the philosophy of Rudolf Steiner. Its main idea is to take into account the biological, social and spiritual patterns of human development, focus on the personality of the child regardless of his nationality, religion, age, social status and level of development.

One of the peculiarities of the Waldorf schools and gardens is the different age groups that allow children to try on several social roles. It is assumed that in different age groups, adaptation and development are facilitated, since there is no competition stress (the only driving force of development in peer groups). Senior and younger children actively communicate, the elders teach their younger ones by their example and actively develop themselves in this patronizing role.

Anna Pryanichnikova:

"Children of different ages have different tasks, they play and communicate differently. I think communication with older children should not be permanent, but episodic, and most of the time the child needs to be held in a peer society. After all, a kid who does not want to do anything at all, gets involved in cognitive activity only because he sees the result of a peer sitting next to him. "

Competitiveness in this case becomes an incentive.

- If possible, write the child in the same group as your peers. During the adaptation period, spend time with him in the kindergarten and take home as early as possible.

"If the mother chooses the motivation scheme" we are going to the kindergarten together with you ", it is implied that the mother actually introduces the child herself into the group," Anna Pryanichnikova explains. - The first time she is physically next to the baby, brings to the children, involves games. As it adapts, it gradually moves away in the truest sense of the word: it moves a few steps farther, and then goes out the door. 2-3-year-old children do not focus attention on the involvement of someone's mother in their communication, and a 4-year-old child is not so much needed for his closeness, he quickly learns and understands the explanations better. "

Special training

- How quickly the child learns in the kindergarten, largely depends on the ability to fall asleep, wash and dress independently, eat at a common table (including a children's team), eat lunch about half an hour without being distracted. Learn the daily routine in a particular kindergarten. Switch to this schedule and diet should be in advance (a month for 2), smoothly shifting the time. If so far the day was planned depending on the wishes of the child, now one must get used to the regime.

- Experts advise less often to encourage the child sweets and snacks, because in the kindergarten this will not happen. It is important to start making a children's diet in accordance with the menu and the calorie content of a particular institution (in some, for example, there was such an innovation as vitaminized nutrition). It is necessary to enter into the diet a variety of soups, side dishes, vegetables, drinks; alternate meals regardless of the child's preferences; Do not overfeed it so that in the garden he does not feel hungry. Pay attention to whether the baby eats well with spoons and forks, drinks from a mug, has he weaned already from the bottle and nipples.

- Ability to tell an adult about malaise, use a pot and inform about the need to visit the toilet - fundamentally important skills for a toddler who is going to a kindergarten.

- Specify, whether children are forced to eat up food, etc. Establish contact with the educator, talk to him about your child, introduce them. Tell us about the nature and habits of the baby, about what foods he does not like.

- In advance, think about taking children's multivitamin preparations, minimize the load on the nervous system of the child, take care of the baby from overwork and strong emotions.

Do we hold a "blow"?

In the life of the baby, who crossed the threshold of the kindergarten, significant changes are coming. Separation from my mother, communication with a lot of strangers, a clash with the rules that need to be followed - this is stress. And it is not surprising that the child consciously and unconsciously seeks to return to the previous position or adapt to the new. Adaptation is a natural reaction to changing conditions. It can take a variety of forms. Also it is not necessary to be surprised, that the kid became irritable, aggressive, tearful, at it the appetite has decreased or quality of a dream has worsened. On this psycho-emotional background and physical health is vulnerable. "I went to the garden and began to get sick often" - sometimes the reason for this is not a banal contact with viruses, psychosomatic manifestations of a child's reluctance to go there, "- says Anna Pryanichnikova. It is believed that easy development there takes several weeks and does without any ailments. Medium-to-moderate adaptation lasts longer than a month, during this period probably an easy disease without complications. Prolonged (more than 3 months) addiction, accompanied by frequent diseases, requires the help of specialists and / or an alternative to kindergarten.

It is not necessary to adjust the child negatively, to form at it the image of a kindergarten as a place, by which it is punished. Parents should reconsider their attitude to the kindergarten and stop discussing with the child the problems of the institution.

"There are different opinions, but, according to my observations, up to 3 years a child needs one person who explains to him the rules and norms, values, requirements; gives a certain standard of behavior, - says Anna Pryanichnikova. "It's hard for a kid to perceive this information from different people: he can not understand what is right and what is not. A 1-2-year-old child needs a mother, love, care, comfort. At 3, when he begins to say "I myself," he already has independence, the desire to communicate, interact with other children. "

Country of the Rising Sun

- Kindergartens are ideologically oriented to teaching the child independence, obedience and etiquette, interpersonal communication skills. Explain how to find a "golden mean" between their wishes and the comfort of others; learn to properly look at the interlocutor.

- In Japan, babies usually come to kindergartens in 4 years. At 3 years of age, this is possible if parents need to go to work. There are kindergartens even for one-year-old crumbs, but in general so early in Japan they do not recommend excommunicating the child from the mother: such "creches" exist precisely as a way out in special cases - in order to arrange a child there, you need to indicate really serious reasons in the application.

"If financial resources permit, Japanese parents try to identify a child in a kindergarten at a prestigious university, as the continuity of education and employment guarantees a graduate of an elite kindergarten to receive high-paying work many years later. Competition is somewhat aggravating the relationship between children, as well as their parents. It is even known about a crime committed on the basis of competition for a place in an elite garden.

- As in other educational structures in Japan, in kindergartens the year is divided into three semesters, between which there is a vacation. During the holidays, children can come to the kindergarten to communicate with their tutor or in the swimming pool (much attention is paid to the physical development of the child and his health in the Japanese kindergarten - it is enough to say that the main holiday in the kindergarten is the Day of Physical Education).

- Groups in Japanese kindergartens are heterosexual, small (6-8 people). For their group, children choose their own name - thus, educators teach them to make a decision.

Why is it difficult for him there?

The difficulties of adaptation in kindergarten are not always connected with the problems of children's personality and upbringing. Much depends on the level of the institution, its customs and staff qualifications. By what principle did parents choose a kindergarten: "not far from home", "was there a place"? Sadiq sadiku discord, and it does not always depend on his status (municipal, departmental, commercial, home). Before referring documents to a particular institution, it is not superfluous to collect information about the "track record" of the institution and parental feedback.

Another aspect of the topic is the system by which the kindergarten works, the bias towards early development or the study of a foreign language. After all, each technique has "pluses" and "minuses".

"The choice between mere supervision and development of a child in a kindergarten depends on the wishes of the parents," Anna Pryanishnikova believes. - But delicate game developing techniques help to remove emotional and muscular tension; to reduce impulsiveness, excessive motor activity; to develop memory, attention, speech, imagination, general and fine motor skills. What the child will receive in the first 3 years of life is a kind of "foundation" for his development. For example, why does a child need finger games? The training of the fingers improves the areas of the brain responsible for speech. Developed fingers are a neat letter and correct articulation.

Studying foreign languages ​​in kindergartens? In this issue, it is necessary to take into account the opinion of linguists who recommend starting the study of another language after the child already speaks well in his native language (not blinking, correctly and clearly pronounces sounds), that is, in 6-7 years. Not fully mastering the phonetic features of his language, a child can confuse sounds and pronunciation in a foreign language. Such a risk exists even when the child already speaks Russian well: if parents notice a regress in the child's speech skills, it is better to postpone learning a new language ".